DATE: 28th October 2011
TIME: 10:00 GMT
PLACE: London's Whitehall
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| Stuff the government do is so secret it is kept in a brown paper folder |
Government officials from MI5 and Ministry of Justice held secret meeting yesterday with celebrity TV hard-nut DANNY DYER (full name DANIEL JOHN DYER), who was picked up off the streets of his hometown Loughton, Essex whilst on his way to Greggs to buy a steak slice.The main government lead on this is SIR ANTHONY MENACE. Purpose of meeting was to discuss the plan to open a celebrity prison at secret unspecified location. DANNY had initial concerns about the loss of prestige associated with working as a 'screw'. However these concerns were addressed when it was explained there was a possibility of a knighthood, and that he would be paid considerably more than Ross Kemp for his work on gangs. It was also explained that the project is top secret until the press have been properly briefed by SIR ANTHONY and his team. The meeting finished when Danny expressed concerns that his partner would go chicken oriental if he didn't get back. DANNY was driven back to his home via Greggs where sadly the steak slices were all sold out.
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| Danny is partial to a steak slice |
